Modern Day Swingers

On Tuesdays, my friends and I meet for lunch and laughs before we head to one of our homes to play Mah Jongg. “Did you see the article in today’s paper about the germs on the bottom of purses?” one friend asked after we all sat down.

None of us did, so she gave us a quick summary: the bottoms of our purses are laden with germs, especially if we ever set them on the floor. We should never place our handbag on any surface where food is prepared or served.

In restaurants, most of us tend to keep our bags under the table between our feet. By the time she finished talking, we lifted our bags from the floor and hung them on our chairs. We knew that was a good way for a pickpocket to relieve us of our wallets, but decided we were safe since the eatery was not crowded.

The following week one of the “girls” came to lunch with a present for the rest of us - fancy hooks designed to hang a purse from a restaurant table. When the waitress came to take our order, she couldn’t help but notice five handbags swaying from the table’s edge. She sucked in her lips, trying to suppress her giggles, but finally burst out laughing. Others in the restaurant turned to see what was so funny. Had our lunch bunch just become known as “The Swingers?”

The next time we met for lunch the hostess seated us in a round booth. There was no room to hang our bags from the table, so we asked for a chair. “Is someone else coming?” she inquired.

“Just our purses,” I answered.

"Ah,” she said. “You read the article too.”