Monday, June 7, 2010

Hat's Off to Tipper and Al

Most of my galfriends who are married 40 plus years and suddenly find themselves for the first time living with their husbands 24/7 agree with my list of reasons as to why another perfect couple is untying the knot around the same time the social security checks reach their mail boxes. (It is not as unusual as the public thinks.)

Let’s start with the number one deal breaker: A/C. They will now be home all day together and he likes the house at 78 and she likes it at 74. Now 4 degrees makes a massive difference – especially if the one who likes a cool home does the cooking and ironing while the one who likes it warm rarely overexerts him or herself.

Another marriage breaker is suddenly having to be with each other 24/7 when one spouse – or both – have been traveling out-of-town for most of the marriage. Heck, some of these folks have nothing left in common except their kids and grandkids.

Taking the last reason to the next level – could it be possible that when HE retires, HE expects his wife, (who hasn’t cooked or cleaned for him or anyone else, except herself, since their last child married about 10 years prior ) to become the chamber maid and waitress as well as wife? Does he sit down at the table and wait to be served? Even worse, when he’s finished eating, does he hand HER his dirty dish even though she’s still eating?

We can reverse the sexes in the last paragraph. I have female peers who did the traveling while their spouses combined their local jobs with Mr. Mom. The challenge these marriages faced was when She retired and wasn’t sure of her role at home – even though the kids were grown and gone. Running the house was his turf.

So, for those of you looking for a reason why after that “great kiss,” Tipper and Al split, there can be plenty – and not one has to do with infidelity. Let me know if you have any I didn't sort of mention.

For my parents’ 50th anniversary I wanted to send out boxing gloves saying, “Round Fifty.” My aunt wouldn’t let me and I still regret it. No couple should stick it out for the children and then as my dad would say, “For the grandchildren.”

Hats off to Tipper and Al. You have great memories and no need to mess with that when you both can afford to move on to the next batch of great memories with or without a spouse or significant other or whatever.

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