Sunday, November 22, 2009

Let It All Hang Out

For various reasons, too many people can’t accept the inevitable aging process. Some don’t want to appear “old,” while others refuse to admit their true age. Me, I am grateful for each year given to me, and much to the chagrin of some of my friends, shout my age for all to hear. Fear of appearing old has led to the development of many highly lucrative industries, beginning with cosmetics and onto plastic surgery and Botox.

Since moving into a seniorville – a place with a high population of age hiders and altered appearances - I have developed ways to discover if a person is truly as young as he or she looks or maintains. Discovering the truth makes me feel as if I guessed the correct number of jellybeans in a jar. It’s fun. One trick is to sneak the ages of their kids or grandkids into a conversation with a person who looks like they belong in a college dorm, not a seniorville. Many of these folks who won’t admit to their age will readily show pictures of grandkids or brag about their kids and grandkids accomplishments. One gal I met a few weeks ago talked of visiting her grandkids in college. Despite her wrinkle-free face and neck, I knew she wasn’t the spring chicken her face indicated.

Today during my early morning two-mile trek around the walking trail in my seniorville, I discovered a new reliable way to tell if a person’s face isn’t the one mother nature bestowed on her/him. One lady, whose face was as smooth as a balloon, gave me the new, true test – look at the bare legs. No matter how much botox or surgery she had above her shoulders, her thigh skin was sagging towards her knees. She may have facially looked like she was forty, but with each step towards me, the truth was hanging low for all her fellow walkers to see.

Best of all, now I think I know what Joan Rivers meant when she said she has had Botox everywhere possible. If any of you have seen Joan in gym shorts recently, let me know if I’m right.

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