Today is primary Election Day in Florida. That means the incessant barrage of political phone calls trying to scare me away from evil candidates will cease. So will the calls from famous people advising me to vote for their candidate of choice. The calls will start again in October. When they do, I would like to leave this message on my answering machine:
“If you are calling on behalf of a candidate, this message is for you. The more you call me and tie up my line, the less likely it is I will vote for your candidate. In fact, I may keep a tally, and the candidate who calls the least is the one for whom I will vote. If I intended to vote for your candidate, I won’t unless your calls cease. If you are saying lies or distorting facts about your opposition, forget about getting my vote. If you keep calling, I will convince others not to vote for you. And, if your voice is that of a famous person, you are not impressing me. I’ll hang up on you, too.”
I would like to leave the message, but there would be no point. The robotic caller doesn’t hear or record. The constant interruptions prove the candidate doesn’t care about me at all. So, if any of you know anyone running for office, give them my message.
I’m Eda Suzanne, and I approve this message.