To me, Facebook is a socially acceptable way to snoop on my children and grandchildren’s lives. I know there are lots of up things about using Facebook to stay in touch, but the snooping part still amuses me. The same teens who lock themselves in their rooms so no one listens to their private conversations, think nothing of posting most of it on Facebook. I’ve learned there are some rules I must follow. Once I commented on something my teenaged grandson wrote. I thought my comment was funny. He deleted it. I got the hint. Grandkids don’t want their friends to know their conversations are being monitored by anyone over 16.
My son posted on his Facebook wall details of his overcommitted boring schedule for the day: chauffeuring his 2 teens from place to place all day. Moments after his comment popped up on my wall, his daughter posted about all the fantastic plans she had for that day. Identical schedule, different point of views. Her aunt, who has a keen sense of humor, wrote a comment and asked my granddaughter if she was going to also post when she brushed her teeth. I wondered if my granddaughter would delete it as her brother deleted my comment. I also wondered why her aunt didn’t write the same comment to my son.
It has not ceased to amaze me the minutia highly educated, overly committed adults write on their wall for all to see. One friend writes either about how blessed she is to have two fantastic and beautiful teenaged-daughters or about her minor medical ups and downs. Like my over-committed son, this friend finds it easier to post about her day-to-day life than to make a phone call to her many friends and relatives.
Another friend keeps touting how perfect her almost middle-aged daughters are and how blessed she is to have these two caring daughters. Sometimes the stuff she writes about her “girls” is so personal, I feel as if I am listening in on a party line.
Today, when she posted for all to read how miserable her day was, she wrote, “Daddy’s office was flooded.”
Since her own father passed away over 30 years ago, I commented, “Daddy???????”
One of her daughters followed my comment with, “Ma, don’t you realize all of your Facebook friends are reading these messages?”
Hmmm. Now how many other people don’t realize the difference between Facebook and email and does this explain why some of them post stuff that only immediate relatives or friends really care about?
Showing posts with label Facebook. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Facebook. Show all posts
Monday, April 19, 2010
Wednesday, October 28, 2009
Facebook:Take II
Beware: Reconnecting with those from your past on Facebook has the potential for unexpected expenses, and not reconnecting with them can do severe damage to your self-image. With respect to your pocketbook, if you are planning a big, expensive party take note: unless your bank account rivals Donald Trump, be careful of reconnecting with too many or all those long distant and/or out of sight, out of mind friends and relatives from your past who once were on your invitation lists and expected to come. If you reestablish contacts with these folks who you have on your “invited, never respond yes list” or “delete them, we haven’t seen them in years list,” some of them may expect an invite and even worse, show up. As I said, if money is unlimited, keep on searching and reconnecting.
Now to the negative self-image issue. Since I am no longer planning catered affairs, this is the problem that affects me. Not one long lost friend from high school or college has contacted me since I joined Facebook. I was active in my high school sorority and college house plans. My photo albums are filled with pictures with long forgotten people and me having fun. So how come none of the gals in pictures from my ancient past has recognized my name and attempted to contact me? And how come I don’t have the slightest desire to contact any of them? Is it for fear of rejection or that none of us really remember each other?
The answer is debatable, but in the meantime, I will enjoy the postings from those I know, continue to reconnect with those long lost friends and relatives that I remember and care about enough to want to reconnect, and be grateful I’m not making anymore weddings or other parties where I need to cut down my list.
Now to the negative self-image issue. Since I am no longer planning catered affairs, this is the problem that affects me. Not one long lost friend from high school or college has contacted me since I joined Facebook. I was active in my high school sorority and college house plans. My photo albums are filled with pictures with long forgotten people and me having fun. So how come none of the gals in pictures from my ancient past has recognized my name and attempted to contact me? And how come I don’t have the slightest desire to contact any of them? Is it for fear of rejection or that none of us really remember each other?
The answer is debatable, but in the meantime, I will enjoy the postings from those I know, continue to reconnect with those long lost friends and relatives that I remember and care about enough to want to reconnect, and be grateful I’m not making anymore weddings or other parties where I need to cut down my list.
Monday, August 3, 2009
No Need to Phone :(
“My daughter told me your son is in Tennessee with his family,” my sister-in-law told me over the phone yesterday.
Since my son is addicted to a Blackberry and not a phone, I realized my niece must have read his Facebook “wall” and told her mother. I do have a Facebook account, but have never invited anyone I know to befriend me. However, I decided it was time. It didn’t take long to figure out I just needed to input his name and high school to bring up his page. Then I requested he approve me as a friend. He must be “on” 24/7 because he immediately accepted my friendship, which brought me to his page and then “wall.”
Instantly, the diary of his week’s vacation as well as a link to all of his pictures, complete with comments appeared on my computer screen. I felt as if I was with all of them. I repeated the process with his teenaged son and got the same results. Wow! Now I have a way to know not only what was going on in my son and grandson’s lives, but also what their friends had to say to them. Eavesdropping has become socially acceptable!
No wonder so many of their generation don’t feel the need to call friends and relatives they don’t see daily. All those who care about them need to do is read their status reports on Facebook or twitter or tweet or whatever. Only one sentence is needed to keep all their friends and relatives abreast of their current joys or frustrations and that is so much more efficient than four or five phone calls everyday. What a wonderful idea for the over-committed generation!
When done reading their walls, an old “guilt” sentence popped into my head. Knowing if I posted it on his wall he would have justification to delete me as a friend – even at my age I run the risk of embarrassing him in front of his peers - so I sent him an email and requested it be read with a heavy Yiddish/New York accent. “Ya got time to write all this and no time to call your parents?”
He didn’t call right away. He waited an hour.
Since my son is addicted to a Blackberry and not a phone, I realized my niece must have read his Facebook “wall” and told her mother. I do have a Facebook account, but have never invited anyone I know to befriend me. However, I decided it was time. It didn’t take long to figure out I just needed to input his name and high school to bring up his page. Then I requested he approve me as a friend. He must be “on” 24/7 because he immediately accepted my friendship, which brought me to his page and then “wall.”
Instantly, the diary of his week’s vacation as well as a link to all of his pictures, complete with comments appeared on my computer screen. I felt as if I was with all of them. I repeated the process with his teenaged son and got the same results. Wow! Now I have a way to know not only what was going on in my son and grandson’s lives, but also what their friends had to say to them. Eavesdropping has become socially acceptable!
No wonder so many of their generation don’t feel the need to call friends and relatives they don’t see daily. All those who care about them need to do is read their status reports on Facebook or twitter or tweet or whatever. Only one sentence is needed to keep all their friends and relatives abreast of their current joys or frustrations and that is so much more efficient than four or five phone calls everyday. What a wonderful idea for the over-committed generation!
When done reading their walls, an old “guilt” sentence popped into my head. Knowing if I posted it on his wall he would have justification to delete me as a friend – even at my age I run the risk of embarrassing him in front of his peers - so I sent him an email and requested it be read with a heavy Yiddish/New York accent. “Ya got time to write all this and no time to call your parents?”
He didn’t call right away. He waited an hour.
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